Chau Anh Vu '23
1. Why is it important to know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert?
Knowing whether you are an introvert or an extrovert will allow you to take care of your well-being by helping you to find the best levels of social activity and stimulation for you. For example, if you are an introvert, you should not over-schedule yourself with too many activities that require meeting new people/people you don’t know well in the same day or week. Numerous researches show that around one-third to one-half of all the US are self-proclaimed introverts -- which means that you are definitely not alone if you are an introvert!
2. Being an introvert can be really hard
“Society has a cultural bias towards extroverts” -- that’s the words of Susan Cain, a former lawyer who quit Wall Street to write a New York Times bestselling book about how society is geared around extroverts at the expense of introverts and the wider economy. (The book is Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a world that can’t stop talking -- you should definitely check out that book if you are an introvert.)
In the book, she talks about how school is geared against introverts. She explains that is because “school takes kids and puts them into a big classroom - an often high-stimulation environment that can be really draining to introverts. Besides, school is a place kids learn to dislike their introversion. You can see it if you watch preschool children – grown-ups will repeatedly remark upon quieter children, "Oh isn't she quiet? Isn't she shy?"
She also talks about how extroverted traits are often valued over introverted traits. She explains that this is because “Western society is based on Greco-Roman ideals of the person that can speak well -- a rhetorical ideal. We have always been to some extent a society that favors action over contemplation. But this really reached a pitch when we moved from an agricultural society into the world of big business. And that's when it really became the case that to stand out and succeed in a company, with people that you had never met before, the quality of being very magnetic, very charismatic in a job interview suddenly became very important. “
3. How to embrace the introverted side of your personality
Step #1: Understand that there is nothing wrong with being an introvert
The difference between introverts and extroverts lies in where we get our energy from. Psychologists define introverts as people who tend to get their energy by spending time alone -- introverts lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly in large crowds. Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from being with other people and lose energy when they spend too much time alone.
Step #2: Take care of your emotional needs as an introvert
As an introvert gets energy from spending time alone, make sure that you have enough alone time every day to “recharge” yourself! This can be anything from spending time journaling, reading, to watching Netflix.
Step #3: Nurture the strengths that being an introvert gives you
There are benefits to being an introvert. The first benefit is that you enjoy alone time and usually do not feel lonely spending lots of time on your own. The second benefit is that you do not need a lot of stimulation to feel happy (like hanging out with friends every day) and this means that you may have more time to work on your skills and build your passion.
We need to understand that it is totally fine to be an introvert. Being an introvert does not mean that you are socially inept, shy, or anti-social -- it just means that you get your energy from spending time alone. The below is the resources if you want more information on this topic:
“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking” and “Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids”
Susan Cain’s Ted Talk on this topic
Susan Cain’s website “Quiet Revolution”
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