What a Gift, Freely Given: The Origins of the Giving Thanks Ceremony

By Edie Abbott '27

The Giving Thanks Ceremony is a tradition that takes place the last week before Thanksgiving break every year, when the entire school gathers in silence to express gratitude. But where did it originate? The answer to that question can be traced back to 1997 with the arrival of Peter and Mary Arango. Before 1997, a Giving Thanks Ceremony hadn’t been experienced by the inhabitants of the Mesa. But Mary and Peter brought more than just the idea; they brought an experience that would last decades longer. Through stints at boarding schools all over the country, they had been responsible for starting ceremonies in the same vein. Mary writes, “A heartfelt expression of gratitude is a gift– to others, to ourselves, and to a community.” And thus the tradition was born. 

When prompted to discuss the reasons for the ceremony, Peter observed that “the rush of events in any year pulled the School from opening days to midwinter without allowing much room for recognising countless acts of kindness and moments of grace.” He and Mary also drew inspiration from the Quaker practice of meeting in stillness, allowing people to speak when moved. The ceremony's silence appealed to them and has remained a crucial part of the tradition to this day.

The first Giving Thanks Ceremony, shortly after the Arangos' arrival on campus, was anything but a success. It was filled with “long stretches of squirming silence and a few unlovely attempts at humor”, as Peter comments. But that was not enough to deter the Arangos' vision. Throughout the following year, they “spent time discussing gratitude with [their] advisees, asking them to think about rising to speak”. Peter describes their efforts paying off, writing, “the second ceremony and each that followed it remain among the memories I remember most fondly of our time at Cate.” 

Today, the Giving Thanks Ceremony, organized by Dr. Jamie Kellogg, provides the community with a space to gather and continue the tradition started over 20 years ago. The 30-minute chunk of a dark, cold Monday night can bring out a different side of one's personality and offer a window into the hearts and souls of classmates, friends, and mentors. For these reasons, it has remained a valuable tool for creating a cohesive community. 

According to Dr. Kellogg, the tradition of the Giving Thanks Ceremony has stayed true to the Arangos’ version. The energy and vulnerability of those early years, and of Peter’s opening expression of gratitude, are still the qualities that are sought after today. Staying true to the original version has also meant resisting change. Three years ago, a microphone was added to the practice, but the results were unsuccessful, leading to a return to old ways. The community at Cate is strengthened by the vulnerability that this ceremony requires. While the microphone helped hear specific notes of gratitude, it is the confidence it takes and the vulnerability shared as each student stands in the chapel. As Mary puts it, we “become more skilled [at giving thanks] with practice in safe places, among people who welcome us warmly, even if they don't know us well, yet.” 

While Thanksgiving is an opportune time to practice gratitude, it is important to remember that this quality is not just attached to a single moment in the year. Gratitude is around every resident on the Mesa, and it only takes a moment to appreciate it. So, take this as a reminder to slow down, smell the roses, and be grateful for everything that life offers.